Wednesday, May 12

Patience is a Virtue

So, patience is a virtue. I am learning that Heavenly Father REALLY wants me to develop this. Benjamin's numbers did not do well today. After we took him off the IV they dropped below 50. So, we fed him well and supplemented to see if it would help. It didn't so as of around 5:30 they had to restart the IV. The problem was his IV had fallen out so they had to redo the IV site. My poor tiny little boy looks so beat up. He has a big bruise on his hand where they tried to place the IV. He has another big bruise on his arm where they had to draw labs yesterday. His foot is HORRIBLE because of all the pokes for the glucose testing. He handles it all pretty well but my heart aches for him. Tonight, all night, we will be nursing him, supplementing him, and doing the IV. They are pretty sure the problem is he didn't develop in the last couple of weeks so he didn't make glucose storage that helps newborns get through the first few days in life. Because of this he just can't process the glucose. If we can beef up those stores than hopefully it will help. My milk came in today so we are hoping it will help. If we could get him to nurse well that would be awesome. I am so exhausted from trying so hard to have him sleep.

Today the kids came to visit. I have been missing them so much. I just want all of my children home. I feel like I am living a different life right now. I am ready to bring Benjamin into my normal life. Becca came into the lounge where I am now staying and sat on my lap. The first thing she said, in her new much higher voice because of the tonsillectomy, "You need to come home." Of course the water works started and haven't stopped. The littlest things are setting me off. Oh well, I am postpartum and my hormones are a wreck so I have the right.

Tonight will be good. He will do this and we just must learn patience. Watching other families going through much worse in the NICU makes me realize it really could be worse so I will count my blessings.


Jill Heaps said...

We are praying for your sweet Benjamin and YOU!! Good luck tonight...:)

Ruth said...

You cry your eyes out whenever you need to! One thing I always struggle with is giving myself time to get back to normal with my postpartum hormones. Is there such thing though?

Kimberly said...

Tamara, I am so sorry that you aren't home yet, but hopefully today! Poor little guy for getting poked so many times!

Young Family said...

You are amazing! We keep praying for him and you! We hope he comes home soon just keep your strong faith!!