Thursday, July 15

Breaking Point

I do believe everyone has a breaking point. I know I do. I have been feeling myself heading down that road this past week. We have had tons of late nights and that has affected the kids, including the baby. I have just about had it by night time. Poor Brad, get's me at my worst. Anyway, I believe that Heavenly Father loves me very much. I could list the millions of reasons, 6 of which are Brad, Ryan, Makayla, Ashlyn, Becca, and Benjamin. However, this day I know because he has given me tender mercies to help as I am on the verge of breaking.
The first breaking point is sleep. I really have been so tired. Today I was at the park with some friends from the ward and our kids and I was having a hard time staying awake. Definitely not for lack of stimulating conversation. I love the friends I was with, and they were very entertaining. But between the allergies I was having and the late nights, not to mention middle of the night feedings, I was toast. I can't even totally blame Benjamin. He is seriously waking up once before 6am, and the past two nights his first waking is 4:30. I can totally handle that. Part of the problem is I no longer get to nap. There are several reasons, 5 of which are each of my children. I also don't love to nap, as there is so much else I need to do. But, I know a little 15 min nap here or there really would help me. Well, today after the park and library I got my kids lunch and Benjamin was still asleep. The little girls went to Brooke and Clair's house so I told the older kids I was going to take just a quick 15 min nap while he was sleeping. Over an hour later I woke up, looked at the clock, and then panicked!! Is the baby okay? I jumped off the bed and found him sound asleep in his car seat still. Now, the nap AND him sleeping so long is a tender mercy. He doesn't nap that long right now in the afternoons. I am usually fighting him with cat naps. I know I will be way more refreshed and that I needed it. Hopefully this will ward me off from reaching my breaking point for a while.
The second tender mercy has to do with me reaching my breaking point on trying to lose weight. I gained way too much with Benjamin. It wasn't any more than my other kids, but I started heavier with them and ended the heaviest. Well, I have always been able to lose the baby weight. It just takes work. I have found the older you are and the more kids you have the harder it is. I have been trying but it has not been coming off. Seriously, as of Monday I had lost 5 lbs from the initial weight loss after having a baby. Now, that being said, for two weeks I was on vacation in California and with California family up here. Not conducive to weight loss. So, this week I said "ENOUGH!!!" After many prayers I really felt like doing weight watchers wouldn't be enough and just counting my carbs wouldn't be enough. I needed to do both. So, I am now doing both together. It can be quite tricky but not if you eat really healthy. I can't chow down on fruits as much as I would like, but I can on veggies. I have to watch the amount of sugars I eat.....hardly any now!! But, I have found the last couple of days I have not even reached my amount of carbs or points in a day and I haven't been hungry. I have been downing water like crazy and exercising at least 25 min a day. Best news of all.....I have lost 5 lbs since Monday. I had been praying that if I was doing everything I could do lose weight that Heavenly Father would step in and help me, and that is exactly what he has done. Now, I know it won't fall off like this all the time and I will have moments of frustration still, but for today I am happy.


Jill Heaps said...

Way to go girl!! You are a fighter! I am so impressed with what a dedicated mother you are. You are seriously doing amazing. I am so happy for your weight loss. You can do this, Someday you will look back and wonder how this time went by so fast :) I am glad you got a nap today... maybe tomorrow too??? Let's cross our fingers!

Bre said...

That's awesome! You can always come walking with me. I've been taking on the beast of the hills around my house. I usually loose a pound or two every day I do it. It's crazy!

Andrea Tao said...

Wow, reading this post really hits home for me with being tired. That is so hard! And with other kids it's almost impossible to nap. Being tired make it really hard to be a good mom, for me anyway. As soon as my baby started sleeping through the night, I was a new lady. So that to me was my tender mercy. A huge one! You are a great mom!

Stephanie said...

Tamara - your sweet witness of the love of the Lord in your life really touched me tonight. That is the only way to get through- Love you and your little family. Aunt Stephanie