Quick update

So, I am about ready to give up blogging. It is just one more thing on my to do list that doesn't get done and the guilt just eats at me...oh well. Anyway, here is just a quick update of what is happening around here.

Benjamin: He had his month check up....one month ago!! He weighed in at 12 lbs 11 oz (9 percentile) and was 23.5 inches (32 percentile). He pukes tons, although when I drink Kiefer milk it seems to help. He still loves to be held and entertained. He does not nap well, but sleeps awesome at night (the best was two nights ago when he slept from 7:30pm until 6:30am). But don't worry, the next night he slept from 8-12:30 and then woke up again at 5:30. So, nothing consistent but for the most part he doesn't wake up until the 5 oclock hour. That is good because naps are nonexistent around here. He is still a very cute and happy kid. He is growing way too fast.
Poor Benjamin was dragged around in this little stroller all night when we had a girls night (he was the only boy). Last one he will ever want to attend!!
Becca: She is a handful. Especially with all of her playmates at school. She loves to watch Care Bears and Veggie Tales on Netflix. I have finally gotten her some other craft activities to keep her busy while Ash is gone. She loves to throw tantrums and in the next breath say something absolutely adorable. It is a dang good thing we have those happy moments. She loves Benjamin to death and wants to hold him all of the time. Too bad sometimes she gives too much love and ruins a good thing (like him actually being happy on his own for a moment or two). The other day she decided she didn't like how long her hair was (barely to her shoulders thanks to last years hair cut from Ash) so she cut her hair. I had to go get it fixed once again from a sweet lady in my ward. She now has Dora hair which she thinks is great since that is what she is going to be for Halloween.
This is pre-hair cut photo. It is now pretty hard to pull the bangs back since they were cut short. One day they will grow out!!

Ashlyn: She is my sweet Kindergartner that really loves any minute. She is sad to be in the same class as all of her friends in our ward, but she is making new friends. This really is a talent of hers. She is starting to learn to read pretty well. It is fun to see the progress she has made in this first month of school. She loves to dress herself and it is usually pretty stylish and cute. She is also starting piano and doing pretty well, when we remember to practice. She is a HUGE help with Benjamin. She loves to change his diaper and play house with him.
My beautiful Ashlyn. She really is growing up so quickly. Do you guys like her cute headband? My sister in law has started making and selling them. I LOVE THEM!!!

Makayla: She is another smarty pants. She is the top reader in her class, which is nice to not have to worry about that. She just started Activity Days and loves it. She had her first Daddy Daughter night and Brad had to go to an over night Scout training. So, she got to go with her Papa who was in town from California. Her biggest news is she is getting baptized on Saturday. She couldn't be more excited for that.

One day I will get caught up and post all of her gorgeous baptism photos. I did her and my nephew McKay at the same time (he is exactly 2 weeks older than her). They looked like a little bride and groom. It was adorable!!!
Ryan: There is a reason he was sent to me first. He really is such a big helper, most of the time. Come on, he is only 9 and is still a kid (I have to remind myself of that sometimes). He is doing extremely well in school. He was chosen to help tutor some younger kids in school even though his class isn't doing it yet (another teacher needed a 3 kids to help his class). He is currently in a play for Lehi City Arts Council that he will do in November. He scored a solo!! Whoo hoo....except he won't sing it for me!! He is also super busy practicing the song "Follow the Prophet". He will be accompanying the entire primary for the Primary program. He knows the song really well, we are just practicing what he does if he makes a mistake and has to keep going.
Ryan earned his Bear in Cub Scouts this month. We always try to work really hard over the summer so that once schools hits and I am busy with school we don't have to worry about it too much. He and I are still enjoying scouts together as I am one of his Den leaders.

Brad and I are trying to stay sane with all life has given to us. Nothing big and exciting, just life.Brad is looking for a new job, so if you hear of anything in the Marketing realm, please let us know. (He isn't out of work, just looking to further his career). I am doing my best to balance everything, I fall short daily, but I go to bed, even after the worst of days and say to myself "Tomorrow is a new day and will be better". Most of the time it is. I do worry when at 10am I am thinking those thoughts to myself, but, don't we all have days like that? Life is good, just busy. I keep thinking it will get better, but who am I kidding? The older my kids get the busier it will be, especially in the afternoons. At least I have been blessed with the most amazing kids and the best husband in the world.

PS If anyone is looking to sell or just lend out an exersaucer for babies I am in the market. Sadly enough I have never had one for any of my children. I think it would be a great thing to help entertain Benjamin so I don't have to hold him so much. He is getting better, but we need lots of things to entertain him with these days.

The First Day of.......

Welcome to the first days of many things for all of my kids. On August 25th it was the first day of school for Ryan and Makayla. Makayla was lucky enough to get Mr Rindlisbacher (he calls himself Mr Rindy) for 2nd grade. Ryan LOVED him when he had him in 2nd grade and we were all thrilled that Makayla got him. In fact, I have decided to be one of the two room mothers for him this year. I thought it would be nice for me to be a room mom for each of my kids once (or at least assistant room mom). I may have bitten off more than I can chew, but I think this will be a great class for it. So, I guess I also made the list of firsts as this is my first room mom experience. Makayla also had a first....her first cavity filled. It actually was 4 cavities. Man, we now know she has teeth to really watch. We have stepped up the brushing and flossing in hopes of preventing more!! Makayla is my first child to have a cavity. Not too bad. She did really really well. Her poor lip is swollen. I think she bit it when it was numb. But bless her heart, she hasn't complained once.
Ryan with his two best friends. They had arranged to wear matching shirts...which says "Smooth like butta!!"

Ryan got Mrs Rivera. He actually had gotten a different teacher and I fought to get him changed. I usually don't like to rock the boat at all but really felt it was best in this case. This teacher will work him hard and help him learn how to really be responsible and organized. He is excited because this is his first time being in class with one of his friends (his best friend Ben...they had better behave!!)

Ryan ready for 4th grade

On August 25th Becca had her first day of dance. She was quite excited to go, but didn't want to stay. Finally with 15 minutes left she got into it. This last week didn't go too much better. They are looking to get a teachers aid, which would be great. All Becca needs is someone to literally hold her hand for a few minutes and walk her through what they are doing and then she is okay. Becca is excited to be there with Libby.

On September 1st Ashlyn had her first day of Kindergarten. Boy was she excited. She didn't understand that she goes 1 hour and 15 min after Ryan and Makayla goes to school. It was the longest hour ever!! She LOVED her first day. I can already, after two days, see her blossoming out of her timid shell.

This week was my first week teaching piano since having Benjamin. It actually went really well. I am not teaching quite as much so it is much more enjoyable. We are still getting into the swing of things, but we will get it!
The last first has to be one of the biggest ones of all. Benjamin watched his very first football game. And I am proud to say, it was a UTAH game!! He LOVED it. Of course, who wouldn't? All you BYU fans....don't answer that!!



We have had a very busy two weeks. It will be nice when life settles down more (hmmm.....that will never happen, will it.)

Summertime and the living is easy!!

Well, the summer has come to a close. Tomorrow my home will be filled with new clothes, new hair cuts (pictures to be forthcoming), back packs, and EXTREMELY excited kids. Then, sooner than not, it will be quiet (well, okay not quiet as the three youngest will be around). The beginning of the school year also means the end of my blessed maternity leave. Wow!! How did that happen so quickly. Benjamin is now 15 weeks old and I must face the music and start working again. I sit hear and realize all the things I was hoping to get accomplished during this summer time before school started and I had NO time.
-I wanted to get all of my scrapbooks/photobooks updated (I am so severely behind it is ridiculous).
-I wanted to get all caught up on my blog for this year and last year so I can make a book out of them.
-I wanted to organize all of my pictures and clean up the computer with them.
-I wanted to play with some of my temple pictures and go take pictures of the Timp temple.
-I wanted to deep clean the entire house.
Well, none of that got done. Not even close. But, as I feel frustrated with that I reflect on what was accomplished in place of these things.
-I held Benjamin all the time and watched him grow in my arms.
-I read to my kids (still not near enough)
-I played hard with my kids. We bought a Trafalga season pass which after we bought it we found out it also included a season pass to Seven Peaks, the Owlz and now even the Utah Flash. We have been to Lehi Trafalga a few times, 2 Owlz games, and Seven Peaks around 4 times!! It has been so fun.
-I have read quite a few books (what else do you do when you are nursing your life away)
-I have been to California and Flaming Gorge (maybe one day I will blog about those trips)

So, it has been a good summer. I have few regrets. My pictures are still there to sort through and scrapbook. My house is still here to clean. The memories are still around to blog. However, my 15 week old will never be 6 weeks old again and learning to smile. So, it was a WONDERFUL summer. I am sad to see it go but excited to see what this school year hold.

Water skiing

I love to water ski. It is one of my favorite things to do. I learned as a pre teen from my uncle in Idaho. I remember trying over and over and the satisfaction of finally getting it. It really is a fond memory. Well, Allison and Bryce were kind enough to invite us to go boating last Saturday, July 17th. We had a great time. I was pretty worried that I wouldn't be able to get up as I am super out of shape and weigh more than usual. Well, after a couple of tries I got up on the wake board. I didn't stay up too long as I am so out of shape. I then tried the slalom ski. It took me way more tries than usual, but my determination prevailed and I got up and stayed up for a bit (a short bit as mt legs and arms were shaking). But, I did it and got the picture!!
Now, as exciting as it was for me, the best part of the day was seeing Ryan and Makayla learn. Mckay, my nephew, went first. He did pretty well but was done after a couple of tries. Ryan and Makayla practiced on the boat first. This kind of freaked them out, but after bribery they dared try it behind the boat.

Bryce went in with them (and an orange flag for safety) and helped them learn how to get up. Makayla went first (that girl has GUTS). She got right up and stayed up for a few seconds. I was holding the end of the roap so when she crashed if she didn't let go I let go so she doesn't drag. Well, that is the idea. I was so excited that she was up that when she crashed it took me a sec to remember to let go. She ended up crying, but is now ultra proud of herself, as she should be.


Ryan was super brave and got in, even after seeing Kayla fall. It took him a couple of tries but he eventually got up, kind of. He was up but crouched down. He looked like a frog. We told him he just needed to stand up. He was done after that. Next month, when we go to Flaming Gorge they will try again.

Ryan doing crunchy frog (anyone familiar with P90x?)

Darling Ashlyn

Becca got to drive

Becca really wanted to get in the water with mom. She thought it was so cool.

I did get up!!

Brad surfing!!!

It was a beautiful day

Pioneer Day

We had a nice pioneer day. It was full of work all day and then play. A lot like our pioneers. Poor Ashlyn was really sick with a fever all day. She does seem to be doing better today. We had Tiff and her family over for dinner as well as the Owens (minus Allison who is in Canada with my parents.) It was relaxing until we played the intense game of Scotland Yard. Brad played this board game on his mission and has wanted it since. It has only taken me 11 years to fulfill this wish. He just received it for his birthday. We had a ball playing this game. The coolest part is the Mister X the bad guy wears!!

Man do I have a good looking husband or what? Even when he is the bad guy.

The "Hateful" Years...or are they?

I have been doing a lot of reading since I am nursing all of the time. I even read in the middle of the night to keep me awake while Benjamin feeds. I am sure if my neighbors were to look in my windows in the middle of the night they would have quite the site. I have a head lamp that Brad's grandma gave to him for Christmas. I put it on and can read and nurse without turning on lamps or dealing with an awkward flashlight. It is awesome....although I look hilarious. Anyway, that is besides the point. I have started reading Nicholas Sparks book "The Wedding" which I am pretty sure I have read before, but can't remember it. I am hoping it isn't too depressing. Last night, in the middle of the night, as I was reading I came across this paragraph where the man in the book is describing how his wife looked to the years with young children. As I am right in the thick of things I could relate all too well. She called them the "hateful" years. I find the word "Hateful" too strong. I don't hate anything about this time in life. I really actually love it.....except ask me that after a night with no sleep and a day with a screaming baby. (Obviously today was a good day with Benjamin and last night was okay). However, I really could relate to her frustrations and I had to laugh at how too true it was.

Let me share what Sparks had to say on this matter. By "hateful" what Jane meant was this: There were moments when she hated practically everything. She hated how she looked and how she felt. She hated women whose breasts didn't ache and women who still fit into their clothes. (Amen to this!!!) But it was the lack of sleep that raised her ire most of all, and consequently, nothing irritated her more than hearing stories of other mothers whose infants slept through the night within weeks of leaving the hospital. (I can really relate to this as Ryan was 14 months before he slept through the night. So please, don't share how wonderful your babies are in sleeping so quickly through the night. If I can get this guy to do it by 6 months I will be doing great!!!) In fact, she hated everyone who had the opportunity to sleep more than three hours at a stretch, and there were times, it seemed, that she even hated me for my role in all this. After all, I couldn't breast feed, and because of my long hours at the law firm, I had no choice but to sleep in the guest room occasionally so I could function at the office the next day. Though I'm certain that she understood this intellectually, it often didn't seem that way."

This is where I laughed. I so remember just before I had Benjamin thinking about how little sleep I will be getting and remembering that I sometimes get so angry(not at Brad, just the situation) that Brad can just go to sleep and I stay up trying to get the baby to sleep. He does have to work and I can nap ...ha ha ha-nap, really?!!! I do have to say that Brad has been so wonderful. As long as the baby is fed he takes him and puts him to sleep for me. The other night I was so beyond exhausted I fell asleep without meaning to and Brad stayed up an extra hour putting Benjamin, who wasn't quite tired enough, to sleep. He is so wonderful to me!!!

Now, as I said before, hateful is way too strong of a word. Do I get so tired and frustrated with the not fitting clothes and trying to lose weight that I sometimes get frustrated? Yes. Am I angry at anyone? No. Am I angry at having made the choice to have a baby. Not even remotely. I am just tired and impatient. However, this week I have reflected on these feeling, even before I read this book. I realized that even though some days I am past the point of exhaustion, because who can nap when you have 5 kids, I wouldn't trade these moments for anything. I knew exactly what I was signing up for and every time I even think about Benjamin I smile and think how worth it it all is. So, I will never call these years the "hateful years" because they aren't. I don't know yet what to call them. I am way too tired to be cleaver and thoughtful anymore on the matter. I just know I will reflect with fondness on these times and will be so grateful for every moment I share with these little people I adore!!

Kids say the darndest things

I really should have been recording all of the funny things my kids have been saying the past few weeks. Here are a couple of cute and funny things.

Becca to Nana: You need to go home. (said while I was stuck in the hospital-she was having a hard time with mom being gone)

Becca to Nana again once I was home: You can go home now.

Becca to Nana the day Nana was leaving: You stay. Don't go home.

Becca and Ash have been curious about nursing. Ash asked how I was going to feed the baby. So, one of the first times I was feeding him once i was home Ash came in and watched. She said "Oh, that's just like a sheep." Baa baa....I really feel more like a cow, but we are on the same page!!

When I was pregnant and asked Becca where the baby was she would always point to my huge chest and say "baby". So, one day I was feeding Benjamin and she was watching for a minute. She got a concerned look on her face and said "Mom, why is Benjamin biting the baby?"

Pictures in the Level 2 Nursery (NICU)

I had a really hard time seeing a tube down my baby's nose. I am grateful he didn't have to have oxygen too. After a few days we decided we should document the NICU stay with pictures. Beate, our wonderful nurse, put him in this cute outfit!!

Count your Blessings

Last night I was thinking through this crazy week and realizing how many blessings we have been given during this trial. Brad is always telling me to count my blessings so I will. (These are in no particular order as I consider them all equally a HUGE blessing)

#1-I made it to the hospital in time to have Benjamin.

#2-We didn't discover his low blood sugar until after our kids were able to come and spend time with him in the delivery room.

#3-We have the BEST and I truly mean the BEST nurse in Level 2 nursery possible. Beata, this incredible German lady, has made the difference. She isn't just our nurse, she is our friend and cheerleader. She gets just as nervous as we do to see what the blood sugars will be.

#3b-To go along with Beata, I found out last night she usually only works on Wednesday-Friday. However, they needed help on Monday and Tuesday so she has worked the entire week with us. No other child has had the same nurse all week. We have had different and wonderful nurses at night, but always have the same one during the day. The consistency has been wonderful. I also pondered today that I was scheduled to be induced today!! If I had been and Benjamin had had this problem Beata would not have been our nurse through the whole thing and my doctor wouldn't have been on the whole time since it would be the weekend and someone else may have been on call.

#4-My mother in law was able to change her flight and be the surrogate mother all week. It has been so wonderful to know my kids are at home, having fun, but having some consistency through this all!! Thanks to her for loving my kids during all of this. (although, on a funny side note, Becca informed Nana yesterday that it is time for her to go home!! I think Becca is certainly ready for this to be done!!)

#5-I was able to stay in a room tonight instead of the family lounge. It was nice to shower again and have privacy.

#6-I have been feeling INCREDIBLE physically. Seriously, for the most part I don't feel like I just had a baby. All of my pregnancy complaints are gone. I love how that happens. I always get to this point and realize how sick I always felt. My biggest complaint now is my back hurts from everything....mostly all this nursing. I have to have a pretty active role as Benjamin learns. The more he really sucks the better his chances are of getting better. It is quite exhausting but oh so worth it.

#7-Just last week or the week before they changed the visiting policy for the Level 2 nursery. Because of this my kids have been able to actually hold him in the nursery. 2 weeks ago they would have had to just look through a window.

#8-I have the BEST husband in the world. I am serious. He has been by my side to help me with whatever I need. He is always jumping up to help and makes sure I am taking it easy. He has been a huge help getting Benjamin to wake up to eat. He has been sleeping with Becca at home as she is still trying to recover. That in and of itself is a feat. She moves around TONS!!! He has been and continues to be my rock through all of this. There is nothing more I love than to see him holding little Benjamin. Man, I love this man!!!

#9-Brad has been able to work from the hospital . His boss has been wonderful to let him do this. Although he is working all the time, it is nice to have him by my side. Let's just pray we are done with this by Monday because he will have to go back.

#10-I have been able to have 5 days of quite bonding time with Benjamin. It just wouldn't have been the same at home. Becca loves this little guy way too much and is going to always want to be with him.

#11-My mother was able to step in and teach all of my group piano lessons for me. I had worked hard to get things ready for my students as I take the summer off and we were able to still give them what I had worked on. Thanks mom for all you have done!!

#12-I have an incredible support system. All of my family and friends have been there through calls, prayers(yes, we have been feeling them), thoughts and well wishes online. I love you all very much!!!

#13-For the most part I have been really calm through all of this. This is a direct blessing I was given at the beginning of my pregnancy and is continuing through all of this. I have bad moments, but the Holy Ghost is right there to help me in the end!!!

As I think of more I will have to post them. We are going in right now to test his sugars and feed him. My stomach is churning. We turned the IV down to a 2 and the 10 oclock hour has messed us up everyday as it hasn't been good. Let's pray for a miracle!!!

Patience is a Virtue

So, patience is a virtue. I am learning that Heavenly Father REALLY wants me to develop this. Benjamin's numbers did not do well today. After we took him off the IV they dropped below 50. So, we fed him well and supplemented to see if it would help. It didn't so as of around 5:30 they had to restart the IV. The problem was his IV had fallen out so they had to redo the IV site. My poor tiny little boy looks so beat up. He has a big bruise on his hand where they tried to place the IV. He has another big bruise on his arm where they had to draw labs yesterday. His foot is HORRIBLE because of all the pokes for the glucose testing. He handles it all pretty well but my heart aches for him. Tonight, all night, we will be nursing him, supplementing him, and doing the IV. They are pretty sure the problem is he didn't develop in the last couple of weeks so he didn't make glucose storage that helps newborns get through the first few days in life. Because of this he just can't process the glucose. If we can beef up those stores than hopefully it will help. My milk came in today so we are hoping it will help. If we could get him to nurse well that would be awesome. I am so exhausted from trying so hard to have him sleep.

Today the kids came to visit. I have been missing them so much. I just want all of my children together....at home. I feel like I am living a different life right now. I am ready to bring Benjamin into my normal life. Becca came into the lounge where I am now staying and sat on my lap. The first thing she said, in her new much higher voice because of the tonsillectomy, "You need to come home." Of course the water works started and haven't stopped. The littlest things are setting me off. Oh well, I am postpartum and my hormones are a wreck so I have the right.

Tonight will be good. He will do this and we just must learn patience. Watching other families going through much worse in the NICU makes me realize it really could be worse so I will count my blessings.

Pictures

I don't know what Ryan was screnching his face for. He loves this little guy. Boy does that moment seem like forever ago. I am so ready for these two to be reunited!!!


Here are some pictures of my cute little guy. He has tons of hair (not as much as Becca who wins the prize for the most). His hair is lighter though which is fun.